I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize