I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
