I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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