Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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