i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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