I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize