im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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