He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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