she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
