Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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