I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
