spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
