I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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