put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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