my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
