You just made me feel so damn special
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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