I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
