im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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