Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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