I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
