For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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