Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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