And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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