She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
