i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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