i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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