I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
