the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
