their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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