There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
