All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
