nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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