No awkward lesbian experiences without me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
