if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
