Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
