me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
