I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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