Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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