As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
