What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
