Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
