I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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