She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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