I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
