i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
