I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
