are you still at the devil's house?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
