she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
