I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
