Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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