All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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