If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
