I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
