Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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