Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
