Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
