he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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