whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
is that a dick in a sweater?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
