He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
