Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
