If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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