i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
