the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
