that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
