i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
did i walk over a car last night?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
