BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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