So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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