i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
