yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize