i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
