it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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